Take Note, Moms! Never Say These Things to Couples Struggling to Conceive
For many married couples, having children is a cherished dream and a natural part of family life. However, not every couple can achieve this dream easily. Some may require more time and effort to conceive successfully.
Many couples undergo various fertility programs from natural conception methods to medical therapies yet still face disappointment.
The causes of infertility vary widely and can affect both men and women. It’s important to understand that infertility is not solely a woman’s issue; it can stem from the male partner, the female partner, or both. This condition deserves serious attention.
Often, this struggle can lead to emotional distress for those known as “two-line warriors” (a term used for couples hoping for the two lines on a pregnancy test). To make matters worse, insensitive comments from others can add to their emotional burden.
Dear Moms and Dads, if someone close to you is still on their fertility journey, please avoid saying things that could unintentionally hurt their feelings. Here’s what you should refrain from saying and what you can do instead.
Things You Should Never Say to Couples Trying to Conceive
1. Just relax.
This phrase may sound supportive or well-meaning, but for couples struggling with infertility, it can be deeply hurtful.
When a medical condition is preventing conception, “relaxing” is not a solution. These couples often face complex physical and emotional challenges that require medical attention, not simple reassurances.
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2. Don’t worry, you’re still young.
This is a common phrase heard by many couples, but it’s not always true or helpful. Not every couple going through infertility treatment is young and each couple’s situation is unique.
Many have spent years undergoing therapy or even surgical procedures to address reproductive issues. Moreover, a woman’s fertility declines significantly after age 35, meaning that time is an essential factor in achieving pregnancy.
3. Maybe it’s just not your destiny to be parents.
According to Parents Magazine, this is one of the most insensitive things you can say to couples struggling with infertility.
Their dream of becoming parents is often the driving force behind their efforts. Saying this can cause stress, guilt, and hopelessness, especially for those currently undergoing fertility treatments.
4. You’re lucky you don’t have kids yet you still get to enjoy time as a couple.
Avoid saying this. You never know how long they’ve been waiting, or how much time, money, and emotion they’ve invested in trying to conceive.
For couples longing for a child, the desire to expand their family goes far beyond enjoying time as two — they dream of welcoming their little one into their lives.
5. Why don’t you just adopt?
This question is common but can be very sensitive. Adoption is not as simple as it sounds — it involves a complex legal process and requires financial, emotional, and logistical readiness.
According to Reproductive Biology Associates, adoption can indeed be a thoughtful option for some couples. However, for those who choose not to pursue it, that decision is deeply personal and should not be judged or questioned.
6. Having kids will make you less free
Couples who have chosen to undergo multiple fertility treatments have already considered all the consequences of parenthood. Their determination to become parents means they are ready for the responsibilities and sacrifices that come with raising a child.
They long to experience pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and nurturing their child’s growth together. Please refrain from saying this to those still on their journey it minimizes their heartfelt efforts.
7. Stop thinking about it it’ll happen when you least expect it.
While intended to comfort, this advice can be misleading. If infertility is caused by an underlying medical condition, such words may delay the couple’s access to necessary medical care.
In fertility cases, timely diagnosis and intervention are critical waiting it out rarely resolves the issue naturally.
What You Should Say Instead
ather than using insensitive or dismissive remarks, offer empathy and emotional support:
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“I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
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“It must be exhausting. It’s okay I’m ready to listen anytime. How can I help?”
These simple words can provide genuine comfort and show understanding for what couples are going through.
To all couples who are still fighting for their two lines, keep going. No matter the outcome, you’ve already shown incredible strength and perseverance.
Remember, at Bocah Indonesia, #ThereIsAlwaysHope.
Source:
- Parents. 11 Things to Never Tell Someone Who’s Having Trouble Getting Pregnant.
- Reproductive Biology Associates. 7 Things You Should Never Say to Someone with Infertility and 5 Ways to Show Your Support.
